Procedure

Procedural Treatment Package

Lobotomy

• Ram upgrade or replacement, possibly CPU upgrade or replacement

Transplants

• Ocular: upgrade video drivers, replace video card, reconfigure video system,
• Lungs: clean, replace, upgrade or add fans,
• Heart: This would be the Power Supply, reorganize internal devices, move drives and cards around to provide better air flow,
• Tendons: replace and/or cleanup cables (data, power, etc).

Treatments

• Blood Pressure: reconfigure BIOS for best performance, test CPU, ram and hard disk throughput,
• Muscle Reaction: change BIOS boot order, test drive speed and reaction,
• Tummy Tuck: Eradicate all bloat-ware, garbage files (temp, txt, readme and extras), defrag hard disk, create system restore point,
• Facials: clean and scrub system (inside and outside), keyboards, mouse, monitor and other devices,
• Part of all treatments will be to create an ERP – Emergency Resuscitation Plan and an ERD - Emergency Recovery Disk.

Prescriptions

• I have the lowest cost Prescriptions in the industry and they work - guaranteed!
• Aspirin: OS upgrades and patches,
• Penicillin: scan and purge Malware,
• Liposuction: clean up bloat ware, defrag and system restore.

Free Consultation

• I charge nothing for medical consultation. Simply call me and describe general symptoms. From there, we can determine if it’s something straight forward that you can do to fix it, right over the phone or if I need to make a house call.

House Calls

• Should I be required to come to your business or home to perform medical treatment, I will charge a basic house call. This includes up to 1 hour of coverage. A smaller fee is applied to each hour after the first. In most cases, all treatments are completed successfully within 2 hours of my initial house call. Just like a dentist or doctor, I will schedule several follow up calls to check on the patient, with absolutely no obligation on your part.